Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Thank you for the band-aids. Thank you for the breakfasts and lunches and dinners. Thank you for all of the years of tucking me in, and turning out the light. Thank you for always making sure I got to school on time, and forgiving me for making you late. Thank you for remembering the things I would have otherwise forgotten.

Thank you for the handmade, witty Halloween costumes. Thank you for the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, and thank you for still refusing to admit they weren’t real. Thank you for the gifts. Thank you for always reading me stories, and telling me stories, and helping me believe in magic.

Thank you for allowing me to tell stories – mine, yours, ours. Thank you for listening. Thank you for understanding that they are about more than just us. Thank you for the pens, and books, and journals. Thank you for supporting and encouraging me to write. Thank you for the volumes of poetry. Thank you for the inspiration.

Thank you for being patient with me when I was learning how to walk, how to ride a bike, and how to drive. Thank you for instilling in me the desire to always be exploring. Thank you for taking me on adventures around the world. Thank you for allowing me to go on some of my own.

Thank you for trusting me, even when you couldn’t fully understand my choices. Thank you for being wise enough to be uncertain. Thank you for telling me when I made you mad. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for confiding in me and letting me confide in you. Thank you for being the first person I call when things go right or wrong.

Thank you for being selfless enough to teach me to be independent. Thank you for still being there whenever I need you. Thank you for sometimes needing me. Thank you for never giving up on me, even at my worst.

Thank you for potty-training. Thank you for years of cleaning up snot and throw-up and blood. Thank you for no less than 6 million loads of laundry. Thank you for soothing each cry.

Thank you for hugs, and kisses, and cuddles. Thank you for making sure I always felt loved and wanted. Thank you for allowing me to love and to want. Thank you for my good manners. Thank you for teaching me to treat others with respect and kindness. Thank you for kindness – for yours and mine.

Thank you for trying not to embarrass me too much, but sometimes still embarrassing me. Thank you for teaching me to be humble. Thank you for turning moments of humiliation into opportunities for humor and courage. Thank you for showing me the importance of perspective.

Thank you for teaching me how to embrace all of the layers, even the ugly ones. Thank you for cherishing our imperfections. Thank you for helping me recognize beauty. Thank you for filling my life with it.

Thank you for being strong, but also vulnerable. Thank you for being serious, but also silly. Thank you for being tough, but also tender. Thank you for being my mother, but also my best friend.

Thank you for hours of conversation and laughter. Thank you for decades of love.

Thank you for being a superhero, and thank you for making mistakes. Thank you for bringing me into the world and teaching me how to love it.

You’ve given me so much to write about.

Your adoring daughter,
Frankie

Birthday Presents

On a beach in the south of India, she asked me for shampoo. I walked back into the little hut where we were staying and retrieved what I had left. I brought it back to her. She thanked me in what little English she knew. Then she reached into her bag and pulled out a pair of earrings – silly little handmade dangling hoops. She placed them into my hands.

I think I’m pretty easy to shop for. I love anything weird or ridiculous or unique. I love the eccentric. I love the homemade. I love books and journals and anything having to do with literature. People have told me more than once that they’ve walked into a store, looked at something, and thought “that is SO Frankie.”

I love this about myself and about my friends. I love that there are things that are “SO me.” I love that these gifts are a reflection of who I am and how others see me. I love to tear off the wrapping and reveal this mutual understanding. I love that I can be defined in such a way.

But I also think I’m pretty easy to shop for because I’ve never received a gift that I didn’t love. Ever. I’ve never gotten clothing or jewelry that I didn’t happily wear. I’ve never gotten books or journals that I didn’t jump into right away. I’ve never gotten cards or letters that I didn’t plan to keep forever. I’ve never gotten hugs that didn’t mean the entire world. I’ve never been given anything, in all of my 27 years, that I didn’t understand to be an expression of friendship and gratitude and love.

I had over 100 birthday wishes before 9am. I can’t even begin to put that into words. The number continues to climb. At work, I was greeted with cards and cookies and candy and balloons and songs and countless hugs. Each day of my life, I am greeted with love. Today, I was overwhelmed with it.

What more is there?

What more could I ever possibly hope for? What more could I ever hope to have or to be? I am someone who loves. I am someone loved. That is SO Frankie.

I still have those earrings she so tenderly, gratefully, lovingly pressed into my hands. I still think of her whenever I see them, sitting on my dresser, a reflection of who I was and who I continue to become. I see the gift she gave me.

And I see the gifts each of you give me, not just on holidays and birthdays, and not just material things. Every single day of this little life of mine I see your patience and your kindness and your love. I see that you are there. I see that you get me, that you understand me, that you see me. I know that I am the luckiest. All of you have been an important part of my 27 years. My heart is so full of love, of you.

And what more can I possibly say?

But over and over and over again – Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.